Where are you getting your iron?

An old lady: "what are you eating?"

A young man: "... a banana."

The old lady: "I love bananas. I get low on iron sometimes."

fluids.

Just watched a guy spit a huge lougie on theTrax stop.

It isn't so much that he spit, it's just that I never knew so much saliva/junk could be held in ones mouth.

If that had hit someone, I am confident they wouldn't have survived.

Living the Game

She jumped, she swerved and she laughed as she played her game. It was absolutely delightful to experience her "pass this level" along with her.

Answering the tough questions of life.

Drunk man stops me and says “Do you dye your hair because you are rebelling against God or because you are cool?"

Hardcore.

Just saw a biker with the name “Metal Mucil” on his leather jacket.

Win.

stop listening...

Overheard...

“If you could open the worlds soul, all that you would see are kittens and fatties.”

No recordings here.

I though the announcements on trax were recorded until just now when one said “Galivan…wait. Nope. This is city center. Sorry.” Who knew.

Dear world...

Brought to you by Aaron Rawson:

Dear World:

  If you are wondering what would incite me to murder, it is text messaging via voice, on a train, at 6:30am.
But if for some reason that fails, go ahead and shake a plastic bag for a while, then play with the fun balloon you made out of the air trapped within...

meh

It’s an odd feeling when you see a lady on trax and think “Hey, I’ve been bitten by her before.”

Let's hear it for the kids!

On trax. It stops. A man stands at the door and starts screaming “how do I get off!!” 

A child runs up and hits the button. 

Children FOR THE WIN!

noises

I just shivered and snorted at the same time (accidentlly) and scared the crap out of the kid that walked past me.

Black Friday

And then the lady said “isn’t today black Friday?” 

Her husband said “honey, shhhh, that guy is black.” 

I said, “Also, it’s Wednesday.”

Someone cares

A toothless homeless woman was walking around the Trax platform asking everyone

 "Are you safe? 

Are you  home? 

Are you loved?"

No.

Teen boy pops a zit and it lands on my skit. 

Just breathe. 

It’s either that or go to jail for killing 15 people.

Walking Crazy

A man says “I’ve been hit by cars 32 times…”

So I say, “maybe stop walking like a lunatic?” 

He responds “yeah, maybe.”

always listen

Little girl shoves her entire fist into her dad’s mouth.

Taken by surprise, Dad shouts “what!” 

Little girl says “you wasn’t listening.”

one by one

The girl sitting next to me is tweezing individual hairs out of her arm.

HAIL SATAN!

A boy just walked off Trax yelling “HAIL SATAN!”

Blessing Dance

This girl stopped me and did a blessing dance on me, then spent 20 minutes telling me…

Getting to know you...

At a stop light, the car pulls up to us and a man screams "Have you every climbed a mountain?!"

" uh... yes. yes I have."

no response.

drives away.

Boom Boom Pow!

Brought to you by Kenneth Loosli:

southbound Trax car >>> Valentine's Day 2010 8:30 am

"Mornin sunshine!" a loud voice calls from the far end of the train car.

No response.

A large woman with a man's bowl haircut stands up from the last bench wearing a misbuttoned flannel shirt and tan cargo pants with torn cuffs. She is smiling, slightly crosseyed and sipping from a Maverik travel mug.

"Mornin sunshine!" she calls again.

Still no response. She begins a slow progress down the aisle and walks the entire length of the car to the last bench on the other end, still smiling, crosseyed and sipping on her mug.

"How're you?" she asks a bearded man in sunglasses and a red hoodie.

"I'm tired. I's up till four in the morning partyin."

"Want some coffee?"

"Nah, thanks."

"It's gooood."

"No thanks."

"Boom boom pow! I don't usually drink coffee neither," the loud woman says. "But the money wasn't on my card."

"Money?"

"From my food stamps."

"You can get money for food stamps?"

"If you're on SSI you can. I already called 'em - they're s'posed to call me back."

"Where you livin at?"

"Kearns."

"Kearns? Why the hell you way out here in Salt Lake?"

"Having fun."

Her cellphone rings and she answers it.

"Yeah? Really? - 'cause I just checked. OK. Bye."

She hangs up, then stands up and attempts to perform some kind of gymnastic feat but fails and falls back onto the seat.

"WOO HOO! They put my $97 on my card! Boom boom pow!"

"It's party time!"

Another call comes through and she picks up.

"Hi! Yeah, can I come over today? Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no! I have money! I just gotta go get my - OK."

She hangs up.

"Boom boom pow! That was my dope dealer."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. In fact, I'm going to see two dope dealers today."

Her phone begins to ring again, this time she lets it play and she sings along.

"Boom boom pow! I love this song! It's Black Eyed Peas. It's on their new album."

She answers.

"What? Nothing. On the train. No. OK."

She hangs up.

"What're you doin today?" she asks the bearded man.

"Nothing."

"Want to take the bus out to Riverton? You know where Riverton is?"

"It's the sticks."

"Yeah, but that's where my dealer lives."

"It takes forever."

"No it don't - just take the handicapped bus."

"I am handicapped."

"Me too! - both physically and mentally. Boom boom pow!"

Urine Trouble Buddy!

Brought to you by Andy Johnson:

Walked down today to get a asada burrito from the street vendors on 8th & State today. (which are amazing and only $3 by the way) As I was walking down 8th, there was this guy acting really suspicious, enough for me to notice he was different from my surroundings. I glanced up and he had his fly down, junk to the wind in full view urinating on a tree. On 800 S. In front of a lot of people. Really, is it that far to Sears' bathroom?

Diet Coke Drama

Dear woman picking her nose and wiping it on the rim of her diet coke, over and over and over... 

PLEASE for the love of my gag reflex... DO NO DRINK ... 

::drinks:: 

FOR THE LOVE!

::insert gag noises followed by intense prayer that I would not puke on the train::

Beanie Fun

A man pulled his beanie over his head completely and then laughed maniacally through two stops. 

So, kids, don't do drugs.

Fist bumping for Jesus.

Trax stopped and well before it began to take off a young man shot onto the train as if it was the last off of a burning world. Tripped through the isle and then came back cause he saw me chuckle and reenacted the whole thing for me... so I got it on video...


Then, the awesome preacher across from me and him started talking about Jesus and they fist bumped for Jesus... like ya do.


Then they read the bible together. Out loud. 

It was really sweet. 

Stop lights are too long.

Brought to you by Shayla Dickson:

The man in the car in front of me is knitting at the stop light.

Say what?

The man next to me keeps yelling into his phone, "BUCKET OF CRAWFISH!!"

A simple photo.

A picture says a thousand words. What do you think his story is?

I am kind of in love with everything that is happening here.

Eyebrows.

A lady, we will call her “eyebrows,” asked to lick my hand.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, may I lick it?”

"Nah."

French kissing yourself

I thought I was sitting in front of a toothless man loudly sucking on his own tongue, then I turned around and I was right!

Candy, anyone?

An old man said to me, “you look like a piece of candy!”

Maybe it was my color combination? I am really hoping so.

Finding true love.

Last night as I was walking home from the Opera, a homeless man asked me if I would kill him. I said, "then who would kill me?" Interpolating that it would have to be tit for tat if I did so. Then we talked about life, and hope and God for a good 45 minutes. I was freezing, but we were having a good balanced conversation. At the end of said conversation, he mentioned that his one dream is to find a girl, someone that would love him in return. I said I had the same dream to find a man to love me in return and so though we were in different places and circumstances we were siblings in the same cause.

Then he proposed. It was sweet, he was sincere.
I almost said yes. 
Why not. 
We parted laughing and I think that was the best conversation I have had in a long time. I love discussing life, hope, and then having a laugh, a good hard laugh.

If I ever see him again, Scott was his name, I might rethink my no.

Young love

Brought to you by Aaron Rawson:

On Trax, this gem took a 3in knife and started poking his girlfriend in the leg. Then escalated to pretending to slice her. To him, it was hilarious.

I guess I just don't understand young love...

 

 

Bloody Hands

Brought to you by Andy Johnson:

I have a group of friends that we all used to ride the Red line to Daybreak at the same time. They are this group of chatty gals that just start talking to strangers, and when you reach your stop, you are friends. Its refreshing to find this kind of good still left in the world. Anyway, so we had become Trax friends. 

One December day last year, I get on the train and say hi to the gals, but then realize there were no seats in their section, so I sit down one row behind them. A homeless man starts talking to me since the awkward wall had broken with my 'hi". I could see days worth of urine stains on his dirty sweats and he had dried blood all over his face and hands. Wearing military fatigues and a hoodie. You could tell this guy had got in a serious bum fight. He starts telling me about his life, how he had been in the marine corps, and had been stationed in provo? Didn't know the marines had a base there. Probably a big government secret. He kept pointing his bloody fingers at my chest and saying "don't be an asshole" and pointing to himself, "I'm an asshole". He looked down at his hands and said "the blood on my hands, this is permanent." I reassuringly insisted that it could be washed off easily in the nearest public restroom. However, he was not convinced and kept insisting on shaking my hand. I resisted, but it was no use. I was getting the full contact of his and anyone elses blood on my hands. I just sat there and listened to his sad story because I knew if I sat with the gals, he would come on over and who knows what he would do or say. He asked if I was married, and I said I was, and he promptly asked if he could share my woman. There was a lot holding me back from giving this guy a fresh bloody nose. It was very sad and very funny at the same time. I got some alchohol wipes from my connecting bus and did a full detox. 

If you have stories of your own, submit them at peopleoftrax@gmail.com.

Charles M. Shulz

The boy sitting across from us said "Nice Peanuts" to the girl next to me on Trax, referring to her hoodie...

Meant as a pure compliment, the little kids behind us continued to chant "penis, penis..."

Tamales anyone?

You may have been asked to purchase home made tamales in the Walmart parking lot... But have you on trax?

Declined the offer and then was forced to smell it's amazing flavor for twenty minutes knowing very well I was are going home to an empty fridge!

End of the Line

There are few things more nerve wracking than sitting next to the guy who seems to have some inside information on the fact that the train is going to explode...

This guy is sitting on his hands, tapping his feet and keeps muttering "at the Gateway, train explodes, we will all die!"

It's good I am getting off two stops before that.

Hold on tight

The setup:

Tuesday it had been raining so I had a coat on, was holding my purse, folders, and an umbrella i.e. my arms were full. I am wearing a skirt.

The story:

When: Tuesday, 5 PM
Where: The cross walk from the salt palace to the Marriott hotel.
Who: I am walking across West Temple to the Marriott where I park.
What: half way across the street, I feel something hit my ankles... I look down and yes there it is. My skirt. Around my ankles. My arms are full. So... I kick up my skirt, now ONLY wearing my slip, and finish crossing the road. Did I mention it is 5 PM so people are filling the streets. So many people! In their cars, out of their cars, everywhere. I get to the side of the street and put my skirt on, yes on the corner. Laughing hysterically along the way. Then I am standing there calling my brother to tell him the story phone in hand and my skirt falls down AGAIN. Ridiculous. I hang up and pull up my skirt AGAIN. This time I hold onto it and head into the Marriott where I took a look at my skirt which somehow had expanded 4 extra inches around my waistline from my work to my car... so I fastened it with my hair tie and drove home.
How: NOT SURE what happened to my skirt. Seriously, there is no elastic that broke, no rip or tear. Just happened.

HILARIOUS.

911

The man next to me says, on the phone. "The lady at AA said it's normal to pee blood for three to four hours, but I'm gonna still get it checked out."

Good call dude, good call.

dogs

Ready for this?
I was walking to my car. this hot stranger walking his dog. Then his dog began gagging and threw up. Nothing normal...this dog was seriously ill. So can you imagine what happened...knowing me? Yes. I threw up. Next to the dogs. It came so fast. The dog looked up at me, then the guy did. He said, you okay? I said, "it was your dogs fault" and ran to my car.  Awesome.

#2

This happened awhile back. Enjoy.

Okay.
I am in my car having just pulled up to a stop light and I look to my right and what do I see but a man taking a dump (pooping!) next to a solitary tree on the side of the road. Not in a bunch of trees, not close to someone's house... nope... right there, right next to the road. Moon and all for everyone to see. Thank you sir.

Next time I see poo on the grass I will forever wonder who left it there.

God bless America.

facial

A homeless man sitting next to me suddenly screamed "the world is sinning on your face."

Dating in Utah

A man on trax said to me "I know I can trust you." To which I replied, I am glad... how so? "Your hair." Then he scooted close to me and said "Can I take you to dinner and tell you about the Book of Mormon."

So... I guess I have dinner plans.

cranky neighbors

Just overheard this conversation outside my window.
"Kate! Are you cranky!?"
"Yes, Janet, Leave my boyfriend alone, and I will stop being cranky."

So THAT was awesome.

Amy Grant is sad sometimes

A man just stopped me and said "The thing about Amy Grant, is that sometimes she just has bad days." I said "Don't we all, don't we all."
Then we both went on our way. 
Sort of awesome.

Sometimes it IS the best.

An old woman walking out a the bathroom at the same time as me turned and said "sometimes pooing is just the best!"

unhappy couple

Passed a man whose lady looked upset. As I passed he handed me a condom and said "Here, I won't be needing this tonight."

 Thanks? 

Sorry?

I quit smoking.

I pulled one of those white bic pens out of my purse and held it in my mouth while I continued to look for a piece of paper when a homeless man across the road screamed "Just QUIT, you're destroying the world!!" I thought about it for a second and then took the pen out of my mouth, pretended to squash it into the ground and then screamed back "done and done!" and walked away. Now I am out a pen.

May Die Later

I get some kind of gold medal for not punching the old lady who sneezed in my face on trax.., right? RIGHT?!

gorgeous or gross?

Just watched this gorgeous girl pluck a long black hair out of her chin. Won't lie... It was a great moment.

 

#Trax

spin it out.

I thought I'd look ridiculous when I closed my eyes and spun in circles while it rained and i was waiting for trax, but when I opened my eyes there were 5 others doing it with me. Awesome!!

#Trax

High Five

A man next to me farted. Let me clarify. Something foul exploded in his pants. The he gave a huge sigh of relief and said "That's needed to happen for a whole day!" So I didn't what any normal, well-adjusted, girl would do and I laughed hysterically and have him a high five. Cause that's what my cool gloves tell me to do.

love

Waiting for Trax. A homeless couple slow dances amidst the flurries of snow. They don't look cold, just happy.

I'd choose homeless to be loved like that woman was.

I'm just cold.

Lovely.

Man next to me on trax. 

Makes a disturbed face and then quickly says to me "I'm so sorry!" 

Just as a rank fart ripped from his body. 

Lovely.

Hey lady in the minivan right in front me that just chucked a dirty diaper out your window in the middle lane of the freeway... 

 

What?!

Anyone else confused?

A girl (20?) starts mouthing off to her mother. Her mom turns to her and screams "DON'T YOU YELL, OR I WON'T GET YOU PREGNANT!"

From the mouths of babes

Child walked up to a bum on Trax, hands him a cracker, smiles and says "Mom doesn't let me eat until I take a bath, so you must be hungry!"

And then she was gone.

An angel spontaneously combusted here.

Either that or a stripper.

Reading is bad.

Kids! Lets go to the librar...
Never mind. Get back in the car.

No, I am!

A group of men are in a deep discussion as which of them look most like Johnny Depp.

I now assume this is what all men discuss in groups.

Growing up

Overheard this in the bathroom...

Rated: uncomfortably hilarious!

Setting: A little girl and her mother in a stall.

Little Girl: mom, what's this?
Mom: a small trash can, don't touch it.
Little Girl: mom!! Someone died in the trash can!!
Mom: I said don't touch it!!
Little Girl: We need to take it out.
Mom: Do NOT touch it.
Little Girl: ::screaming:: Dad says when the trash is full we need to take it OUT!!!!
Mom: at OUR house!

Mom drags the little girl out kicking and screaming about her responsibilities to take the trash out and her concerns as to what may have died in the mini trash can glued to the wall in the ladies restroom.

So... There's THAT

Taking things into my own hands

Two boys stood next to my stopped car. One hauled off and hit the other. I yelled "Don't hit!!" 

Surprised he turned and said "sorry dude."

 #makingtheworldbetter 

people?

I've already seen 5 people dressed as poison ivy this morning.

I say "people" because I'm not sure the sex of three of them.

So basically I'm saying its gonna be a good day.

#Trax
#NotHalloween

Elbows.

At a light a scowling lady rolled her windows down to talk to me. She then continued to yell at me for my general indecency! Then I realized she was referring the a poster board I have in my back seat for a Bridal Shower Game called "Which body part belongs to the groom!"

HYSTERICAL.

I didn't correct her because I didn't realize THAT is what she was yelling at, and she drove away before I could correct her judgmental words. lovely.

Meanwhile, you can enjoy what she saw in my back seat... and you can be scandalized by elbows and eyebrows... ELBOWS I SAY!!

Laughter is the best medicine

Walking towards trax and a woman in front of me lifts up her left arm, reaches around, tickles herself and then giggle-screams!

I guess if ya gotta laugh, you find a way.

#Trax

No tomatoes, please.

I said no tomatoes on my sandwich.
Then I pulled to the stop sign, opened my sandwich, saw the tomato, took it off, rolled down my window, chucked it out the window.
THEN it hit the window of the car next to me... And stuck there.

Could I have paid more attention to what I was doing?
Could I have NOT chucked a tomato out of my car?
Could I have just waited to dispose of my tomato?

Probably. But that didn't happened.

So I maintained eye contact with the tomato hit car driver and smiled awkwardly as I waived.

I was hoping the story ended with him getting my number, he didn't think any of this was the least bit endearing.

Tally ho!

Meth Habits of LDS people

At church a girl gave a talk on "breaking bad habits" ... So I spent the rest of the hour pondering the end of the meth situation in NM.... Naturally.

#Church

Dark alley corner

Walking in the dark along a strip mall and there are some manikans in a window and so I say, out loud, "CREEPY!!" Just as I approach a man bent over in the corner smoking next to my destination.

I almost said, "not you" but then I thought "you too!!"

#NotTrax

Trying to pretend to ignore you.

That moment when you put your phone to your ear as you pass someone you don't want to talk to and Siri says "I don't understand, Are you trying to place a fake phone all?"

Vixen. Calling me out like that.

#Trax

Today, the crazy is me.

On trax with a long bow ... Everyone's question: "are you hunting today?"

Yes, with my purple tights... On trax... Good deductive skills.

On the flip side, I'm sure someone has tweeted "on trax with a girl who has a long bow! #hunting"

BFF or Death?

Girl sitting across from me is wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt, fake zombie teeth, and is carrying an enterprise figure that it looks like she just finished painting--according to the corresponding paint on her hands.

We keep making eye contact.

So... I'm either going to die or I just met my new best friend.

 
#Trax

Is this what it feels like to drown?

The guy next to me is feverishly digging something out of his teeth with just his tongue. He sure does have a LOT of saliva working in there.


#Trax

Don't worry, I will call that in.

I caught a live one on trax this morning.

The following all came from the same middle aged woman in nice khaki slacks, and a light pink cardigan with perfectly sprayed back bangs in a Kathy Lee and Hoda kind of way:

"Woah! Holy cow guys! Look at that crazy man!" She loudly exclaims as she points to a man wearing a hospital mask for germs waiting to get on trax.

Interrupting someone giving directions to someone from out of town, "It's just south of the store in the mall that has 20% off their gross earrings!"

Just before trax pulled up to Gallivan station, it didn't make an audible announcement and so she loudly proclaimed "Oh my! They didn't announce the station... Don't worry. I got this. I have them on speed dial... Hello Marsha! Yes, they didn't announ... *GALLIVAN STOP*... oh nevermind Marsha... there it went." ::puts phone away, happy she did the right thing::

#Trax

Deaf or not?

Lady and I make small talk and then. she asks me for a pen and paper.

I give it to her.

She writes: "I'm deaf, can you spare $2 so I can buy food."

She walks up and down the aisles showing it to people.

I am baffled.

#Trax

My future husband

Important Questions

An old man stopped me and asked "Did you get my email?"
So I said "yes" because he seemed really concerned.

Making people feel better one lie at a time.

#Trax

Slide Show

This one is going through all of her photos and giving us a personal slide show of everything she's ever taken a photo of.

To everyone/no one... Although we never saw the photos she did a great job describing them.

"This one is muffin. He's licking my mail after I said no three times. Sometimes his long fur gets stuck on the envelope and I have to use peanut butter to get him un stuck which makes me angry cause I only like to eat it on bread."

#Trax

 

I can smell you.

Hey lady eating beef jerky AND a baggie of tuna... You win.

The only thing that you could add is if you were painting your nails.

Also, I may totally eat that for dinner so I can't hate her forever... just for the next fifteen minutes.

#Trax